Not Up From His Nap Yet
White House 11:00 AM EST, Day 1 of First 100 Day Agenda
Phone rings.
“Good morning! This is Dr. Jill, first lady of the White House.”
“Good morning Jill, this is X.”
“President Xi Jinping, thank you for calling. It is so nice to hear your voice, again.”
“I trust you slept well your first night in the White House.”
“Well…, yes, but our first night was in the Lincoln bedroom because Donald was asleep in the master bedroom. His…. his house staff hadn’t yet told him, ‘You’re fired’. I say he was asleep, but actually, from the sound of it, through the walls, it sounded like he was up all night arguing with Jack over him banning him from Twitter.”
“Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Is Manchurian Joe around?”
“Yes, he is; but… he’s not up from his nap in the basement, yet.”
“He’s napping in the basement? I guess he’s forgotten I told him the pandemic would be over the day following his inauguration, so there’s no longer any reason for napping in the basement.”
“Oh, X, if I may say so, you don’t, quite fully, understand. Those naps are necessary. You see, without them he’d need to be heading to bed, for the day, following his afternoon cabinet briefing and that just would not be acceptable from the office of the president of the United States.”
“Do you not have a Secretary of Energy?”
“Why yes, we do. She is Jennifer Granholm. She had been the governor of Michigan from 2003 to 2011. Why do you ask?”
“I was thinking, maybe she could be of assistance to Joe.”
“Oh, of course! That makes perfect sense! X, you are so wise. Just this morning, with Donald still in the master bedroom and all, Joe got help from the Secretary of Homeland Security; the yet to be confirmed, Alejandro Mayorkas; creator of the DACA program. He helped Joe find his napping blankie amid all the moving boxes, so he’d feel secure, napping in our new home. He was such splendid help assisting with home security, tapping the Secretary of Energy makes perfect sense. I’m surprised we hadn’t thought of that. Thank you, X. I will mention that to Joe as soon as he awakes.”
January 21, 2021 – by Derrick Urquhart