Make Mars Great Again, Biden Presidential Memorandum
Joe Biden proposes big changes in interplanetary developments. At this point in his tenure and where we are as a nation, that is where our attention should be focused, right?
Putting his signature on another presidential memorandum titled, Make Mars Great Again (MMGA), he stamps his mandate on interplanetary biogenesis.
When questioned in a presser about the the memorandum’s similarity in name to Trump’s “Make America Great Again” slogan, Biden replied…,
“I believe the American people have a genuine and justifiable fear of government intrusion in what they instinctively know is going to be an ever more intrusive world and my intrusion on their rights in my first 43 days in office has reduced them to peasants so I’m moving on to intrude elsewhere.”
“My plan will generate life on Mars, possibly before my term ends in 2037, so it will give me ample opportunity to intrude on the lives of more beings. In my plan, Martians….”
At that point a reporter interrupted King Joe, “Excuse me, Mr. President, did you just say your term ends in 2037?”
It was almost embarrassing to watch him as his face flushed red and then drew a blank, saying, “Where was I here…? As I was saying. Look, here’s the deal man, every single morning since I’ve been 27 years old, I’ve got up and someone’s handed me a card like the one I have in my pocket with the schedule on it, of all the things I’m gonna do. I don’t know what to do if I didn’t have that card. If I could find that card I could… where’d that card go?”
“As I was saying, in my plan, Martians will spring to life as we launch cargo containers full of greenhouse gases, carbon dioxide, water vapor…. I’m sorry, uh, yeah, the teleprompter went out. Give me. Just give me a second here. Let me find my other card. Oh!, yes, as I was saying, those other gases, were they gases? Yeah, I think they were gases. Thank you, Jill, yes; those other gases and nitrous oxide, methane and CFCs, we’ll be launching cargo containers full of this stuff for release into the Martian atmosphere.”
“As Mars warms up Martian life will spring up and I will intrude on their rights. Listen, I’ll rule over them. They will be forced to identify as planet neutral. They will not be allowed to identify as Martians. Who knows, they may not have faces, so we may be forced to censor them from Facebook. We’ll decide on that when we see what they look like.”
As King Joe turned to walk away you could hear a distant reporter ask, “Isn’t that what you’ve already done in the U.S. and doesn’t your MMGA memorandum force climate change upon another planet, something you’ve been espousing is of great danger to our existence here?”
Jill didn’t approach the podium, but she could be heard in response to say, “Please excuse us, Joe’s gone to look for his card. Until he is able to get back with an answer maybe it will help you if I can provide you with this, that when I was studying for my doctorate in education I do recall reading that global warming is an atmospheric change brought upon a globe. We’re not sure if Mars is a globe, so it cannot be said for certain that making mars great again could be considered climate change. And besides, Trumps MAGA revived the U.S. economy so powerfully, who could argue with MMGA?”
March 5, 2021 – by Derrick Urquhart